Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Idea # 1 on dealing with the beer runs

A woman hides outside a beer run where she suspects her husband is a regular customer. Canalla!

It's time for all of us to do our civic duty and help our Mayor and council in dealing with the scourge of our city: Beer runs.  It seems as if the city has its hands tied (again) on the issue.  Come to think of it, I'd like to see the city's bill for mecate (rope). Afterall, "our hands are tied" has got to be on of their favorite refrains. OK, back to the matter at hand. It's time to do some brainstorming and give our city leaders some help in coming up with a solution to this crisis.

I think that one possibility is to capitalize on the beer runs' owners/dancers obvious respect for our constitution. Just at tonight's city council meeting, it was mentioned that we must always respect these establishments' constitutional rights. So while they might not exactly be constitutional scholars, it is clear that they must surely read the document. How else, have they been able to stave off any attempt by the city's high-caliber legal team to shut them down?  Who know, maybe one of their dancers is the next Sonia Sotomayor. That would be two latinas on the Hight Court.

Now, back to the plan. Having established the fact that the beer runners are indeed patriots, why not use their political leanings against them? All the city has to do is find a way to continously pipe in The Star Spangled Banner into their businesses. With Francis Scott Key blaring in stereo,  the dancers will have no choice but to go from gyrating go-go girls to solemn patriots standing at attention. Think of it! Oh say can you not see this working?? Any bets on how many of them will know which hand goes over their heart?

8 comments:

  1. Maximiliano: remember its about the children. . .

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  2. I know, the mayor reminded us all yesterday, and the day before. Are these girls minors? That has to be established before knowing how to proceed. I wouldn't be surprised to see the mayor comandeer a school bus just so pro8news can take some footage of it passing by the beer runs (over and over again).

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  3. So, what if you have 21 year old beer servers/beer girls? Is it OK then?

    And, thanks for the image of Salinas at the seat of a school bus, maneuvering it--both literally and figuratively--for the admiration of the crowds.

    Please excuse me while I go use some bleach eyedrops.

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  4. Nope. It's not ok but the council/counsel is looking for something legal to pin them on. I don't know if minors can sell beer-can they? YW on the Salinas imagery. Maybe we can use clips from the Dirty Harry movie when the villain hijacks the school bus to simulate Salinas' actions.

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  5. Liquor licenses, work permits/records, age verification? Why complicate things through Silly Council meetings?

    Nice site btw.

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  6. I thought all that was within the realm of the TABC, not the City Council?

    And Maximiliano, I'll need a second round of bactine now to rinse my eyes out.

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  7. Snarling........do you feel lucky punk......well, do you?? scrreeeeeeeeech-vroooom

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